It is hereby certified that as of now, (insert name) discovered
nothing and realized that he is nobody. He now understands that there
is nothing to understand because nobody understands nothing.
Consequently, he learned that his search for the truth was a big joke,
and that he was the butt of the joke. After his search ended, he
discovered that who he thought he was, was not who he was, and that
who he is, is simply what is. He is now free to enjoy being what he
is, even though he doesn't know what that is. He is free because no
matter what he does he will always be doing exactly what he has to be
doing, which is what he was already doing before he discovered that
that was what he was doing.
________ now knows that every person he meets--including every
homeless bum, criminal, alcoholic, drug addict, and otherwise
disreputable person, is himself. He therefore must never speak ill of
anyone because he will be spreading rumors about himself. In the same
way, he can never be proud of anything he does because he is not the
one who does anything. Because he now knows that time and space are
imaginary, he knows that he is always here and now, wherever that is.
Henceforth, he will never forget that who he is is beyond name and
form and that his past personhood was a product of imagination. Now,
he will always treat other people as himself, because he knows that
they are himself.
_________ now knows the secret of all secrets...that there is no
secret. Everything is lying open and in plain sight. He can now relax
and have a good laugh at having found something that was never lost.
He is hereby declared to be an official member of the
Brotherhood/Sisterhood/Ithood of Sacred Emptiness. Having finally seen
the Big Picture, he now knows that all the little pictures are
imaginary and that the Big Picture is also imaginary. He has
discovered that he and God are one and that God has an enormous sense
of humor.
He is therefore authorized to talk incessantly about what he has
discovered, understanding that when he has finished saying everything
he can think of to say, he will have said absolutely nothing to
nobody, and nobody will understand what he is talking about anyway.
Signed by:
Your Own Self
President and only member of the Club of Cosmic Consciousness
(S/He is the only member of the club, because there is only One available
to be a member. Anyone else could be president if there was anyone else,
but despite searching high and low, nobody has ever found anyone else.)
